Alison - In Loving Memory

[Note 7-15-11 by Jon B -- I uploaded the full movie to my Picasa Web folder and it can now be viewed from the following link:

https://picasaweb.google.com/jbronstein2000/AlisonSlideshow?authkey=Gv1sRgCK-8pbLXiOOj0QE

Christa's slides are still available from her link, should you like to just view the slides (no music) or if you have a lower bandwidth connection and the movie doesn't play well... ]

I apologize for the delay posting the slideshow that was shown at Alison's Memorial Service. I wasn't able to directly put it on the blog but I am attaching a link to my Picasa Web album. You will be able to see all the wonderful photos, unfortunately, without music.

https://picasaweb.google.com/cjoseph8/AlisonPresentation?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCLzzuYL906miugE&feat=directlink

Celebration of Alison's Life July 10

You are all invited to come together for a Celebration of Alison’s Life on July 10, 2011 at 6 pm. This event will be held at the Brazilian Room in Tilden Park, in Berkeley, CA. For directions, you might use your map coordinates of Wildcat Canyon Road at Shasta Road, in Tilden Regional Park, Berkeley, or try this link http://www.ebparks.org/activities/corpfamily/br/br#directions

Kirk and Dani will have additional details, to follow. I know you are encouraged to bring your fondest memories of Alison to share with all who loved her.
Peace,
Deborah

Our sweet Alison

Alison left us this morning. Kirk says she had been sleeping without awakening for at least a day. She died early this morning with Kirk by her side.

I know Kirk will post something soon about her, and about her memorial service. He'll let us know those details when he has them.

I will look for her spirit when I hear someone laugh, or hear the many songs we loved together, or watch someone dance with joy, or watch someone perform an act of kindness for someone.

I will miss her so much.

Little by little

Alison’s brother and sister (me) and spouses have seen Alison a few times over the past 10 days. She is sleeping more, coming to lucid moments less, communicating more with nods and head shakes than any words. She still seems to understand what is being said, but her ability to communicate out to others is more and more truncated.

It is so heartbreaking to see someone who was so vibrant and life-embracing have all that ebb from her. Her spirit is there, but she has to battle this horrid tumor which has not only robbed her of all independence, but of peace and tranquility as well. Her battle is with episodes of uncontrollable crying. This is just my interpretation, but I don’t think it is an “in-the-moment” emotional reaction to her condition, but the tumor itself asserting itself in those emotional centers of the brain that affect emotion. Talk about a raw deal – a miserable disease that even robs her of being able to be peaceful much of the time.

Kirk and Dani continue to minister to her. She is where she wants to be. She does not seem to be in pain. I hope that when she sleeps that is able to go somewhere light and free…

Update

Mom's condition continues to deteriorate, but she is being cared for and loved around the clock by myself, Kirk, her flow of friends coming to visit, as well as nurses' aides. Currently, we are trudging through a very uncomfortable issue with mom's catheter, which appears to be blocked. We are awaiting the arrival of the on-call nurse which is (quite literally) painfully slow. We are holding her hand, stroking her forehead, giving her kisses, and trying to make her as comfortable as possible in the meantime.

She spends most of her day either sleeping, laying in bed listening to Kirk or myself read her a book (Harry Potter or Janet Evanovich), watching a movie, or sitting with a visiting friend. She can no longer walk. There are many tears from her throughout the day; a symptom, from what I've read and heard, of the tumor. I can only imagine the deep sadness and confusion that comewith such a terrible illness, and how frustrating it must be for someone as verbal and articulate as mom not to be able to explain to herself or anyone else.

I would like to take this opportunity, my first post in a long while, to express my and Kirk's deepest gratitude, thanks, and love for everyone who has helped mom, and us, through this time. Your kind words sent by email, "snail mail," and phone calls touch us all every day. The visits, flowers, food, gifts, and ongoing emotional support make it impossible for mom, Kirk and myself to forget how surrounded by love mom is. It means everything to know you are here with us.

Please continue to call, visit and send your love and good thoughts this way. Every word and every sentiment is deeply appreciated, and returned to you, even if we have not yet had the time to express it.

For my part: my greatest thanks to you, mom's friends and co-workers; I have hardly had a chance to speak to any of you, as many of us have never met. I will never be able to express my gratitude for the love you give her in these impossibly hard times. You are her family as much as I am; it gives me such pride and comfort to know that she is so wonderful, as I always knew, to have made such truly spectacular and good friends in her life.

-Dani

*As a side note: I deleted a comment from the previous blog because it was inappropriate and inaccurate. I will not tolerate passive aggressiveness toward myself or anyone in this house, especially on a blog that is meant for love and well-wishes for mom. Mom is not invisible, and there is not "only one" keeping her loved ones informed about her state of health - she has a stream of visitors, phone calls and mail all week. All anyone who wishes to see her need do is call and help us find a time that will work best for theirs and mom's routine. Mom's is tricky these days, and her windows of opportunity are few, so sometimes it takes us a few tries. But no one should be shy about calling, writing, or working on setting up a good time for a visit.

Thank you all, truly, for your love, positive thoughts, and support.