Having a really good day

So, after having had a particularly rough week or so, I'm happy to say I'm having a really good day, with better energy level and emotional state than I've had since my surgery. Not sure why; don't care; just happy to be here now.

It's been a surreal experience, to say the least. Having part of your brain cut out kind of changes how you experience the world. Everything looks and feels pretty different. Plus chemo and radiation do a number on me, too. Although I do think some of the recent changes I'm feeling are getting me closer to who I used to be/how my mind works. Maybe wishful thinking, but I do think I'm having the feeling of familiar thought processes, etc. It's just tough to have so little sense of control over my life...much of the time it feels like I'm a five-year old, needing an adult to tell me when it's time to do things, getting those things for me, monitoring my activities. For anyone who's been an independent, competent adult, well...kind of a big change to embrace. Don't like it but glad to at least have the chance, you know?

The practical aspects of going through this are in some ways more daunting right now than the medical. Kirk and I continue to work through the massive legal/financial / medical issues...you can't believe how complex this stuff is (well, yes, you probably can) and how many iterations of the same damned documents are required to get the thing right, so that I'm protected and my daughter is protected. So for those of you who don't have your legal stuff in order yet, take my advice and call your attorneys or whomever and get this stuff started while your health is good. It takes longer than you'd think. This is NOT how I should be spending my time right now. But we're nearly done and then I can just focus on sending this fucking tumor to hell and healing as best I can.

Kirk and I are hoping to have an evening with my brother and sister-in-law (Jon and Christa) who were in Palm Springs (my home town) over the holidays, so we've missed having time with them. My daughter, Dani, will be up Wednesday to spend a couple days with us in Berkeley. Can't wait. Her best buddy, Jen (we call her "Like-a-Daughter") will join us here Thursday night so that they can head to Tahoe at the butt-crack-o-dawn on Friday for an overnight ski trip...with Dani's newish-beau, Matt, and some other friends. (And I'd just like to say, big thumbs up on the new beau...) And then another visit with Dani before she heads back down to her home in Monterey. So lots for me to look forward to in this next week. Whoo-whoo!

Okay...think I've done quite well here! Thanks so much for all the blog posts, emails, cards and letters and loving, positive thoughts you've sent me. They are truly a gift and so appreciated.

Love and much positive thought... /ab